My Immortal
by iloveslinky
Summary: Oneshot. Songfic. His heart was breaking. He couldn't forget her. No, he WOULDN'T forget her. Part two of the Before He Cheats series. Can be read alone. RxR.


**A/N:** I know, I know! I should be working on "The Voice Within" but I was feeling a certain vibe! You asked for another excerpt and here I am to give it to you!

I don't own Jimmy, but when I get my very own cartoon on TV, I'M BUYING HIM!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't own "My Immortal" by the Immortal Evanescence... Damn, my day just keeps getting worse!

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James Isaac Neutron sat on his navy blue comforter. He had his knees pulled up to his chest and his face rested in the crevice it created. James' arms were wrapped around his giant head and his hair flopped over their fold, the gel giving in just as the boy had done. 

Cynthia Aurora Vortex was James' one true love and he knew that. Every day since… _That_ day he had asked himself, tortured himself with one question; why? Why had he done it? Betty wasn't even all that pretty now that she had bleached her hair! Why had he done this terrible, terrible thing to the one he loved?

James raised his head at the nightstand on his left. The clock held numbers, the book held words, the computer held knowledge. None of them mattered to James anymore for he wasn't looking at them, what he had once prized. James, instead, was peering through crystal-glazed eyes at the tiny velvet box in the midst of all these items. The flop of hair fell in James' view of the ring; a ring which now meant nothing. James didn't make any indication of flipping the hair out of his face; instead he welcomed its cover.

The clock, now reading 5:00 AM, switched on the automatic alarm and the soft waves of the radio's song began to play. James didn't care. He wasn't to go to school today. He hadn't needed to go to school since the third grade, but he only continued to go for one reason. A reason now pointless, fruitless.

_I'm so tired of being here_

_Suppressed__ by all my childish fears_

James recognized the song; it was one of Libby's favorites. She played it constantly for Evanescence was her favorite band. Grey Star had died out years before.

James let the melody console him. He let the music entangle him and the soft bars caress him. He knew why this was Libby's favorite now; she was depressed for Sheen. They had broken up not too long before.

_And if you have to leave_

_I wish that you would just leave_

_Cause your presence still lingers here_

_and__ it won't leave me alone_

Cindy's aura had pounded in James' head leaving it black and blue inside. James wanted it over. James prayed for the sweet relief of death.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

A few days before James had asked Sheen how he could cure his ever broken heart. Sheen had replied with letting time play make its course. James had tried; nothing could eliminate Cynthia for she was the only one for James. Time couldn't take her from him; James wouldn't let it.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

James thought back on all their times. All the laughs, all the tears, all the everything. He hadn't faulted her then, why would she think that he would fail her now? She had to come back, wouldn't she?

James looked at the cell phone on the table. He picked it up, not knowing what he was to do with it. James flipped open the contraption. A picture of a beautiful blonde with glowing green eyes resonated back at him. Her radiant smile captured his heart and James fell in love once again. He opened his address book and dialed the number he was looking for.

"H-hello?" asked a voice on the other side of the speaker after a few rings. James' breath caught in his throat; he hadn't planned this far. In fact, he hadn't planned at all.

"Cindy," he croaked for the first time in days. James could hear Cindy gasp and he imagined the expression written on her face just now.

"Why are you calling me?" she asked after a long pause. Her voice cracked, James knew she must have been crying as well.

"Because… because," for the first time James was at a loss for words.

"Don't call me anymore. I don't want to talk to you," Cindy's voice carried weakly through the phone. It wasn't a threat, it wasn't a warning. It was self-defense. A click sang in James' ear. He closed the phone and threw it down, he didn't know where, and resumed his original position with his head between his knees.

"I love you."

_But you still have_

_All of me_

The tune graced James' ears. He couldn't get away from it. Its words echoed in his head. They were all so true! Why hadn't he listened before? He could have evaded this feeling somehow! James was a genius! He could have made a way.

And true it was that Cynthia still had James' heart. She had it behind bars. It was as though Cynthia didn't want James' heart, but wouldn't let him have it back as punishment. Chastisement for James' crime.

_You used to captivate me_

_By your resonating light_

Cynthia's memory plagued James. He couldn't stand it anymore.

_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

_Your face it haunts_

_My once pleasant dreams_

Nightmares had engulfed James, pulled him into a never-ending pit. Nightmares that awoke him in the middle of the night. Nightmares that had him ensnared.

_Your voice it chased away_

_All the sanity in me_

The once marvelous intellect of James Isaac Neutron no longer existed. They had long gone. Cynthia had taken them too.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

Ripping, tearing, searing pain tore at James. He couldn't fight it. James had to make it go away. He welcomed sweet, never-ending darkness, challenged it. James had more than once thought about slitting the vein in his wrist and letting the crimson flow onto the perfectly made bed.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have__All of me_

James couldn't give up. Being a Christian, James believed that the Lord would give him sugary salvation. James had waited and waited. His salvation had yet to arrive. It had been long enough and James had lost his faith.

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_

_But though you're still with me_

_I've been alone all along_

It didn't matter though. None of it mattered. He had tried to convince himself that Cynthia wasn't his anymore. James couldn't get it through his mind. He couldn't convince himself it was true. James couldn't let go. He couldn't let go of Cynthia.

A swift look at his forearm. It was so clean and unblemished. So unlike the rest of him.

The blood spilled unmercifully from James' left wrist. The pain was just a dull ache. It barely held a candle to the emotional pain James had endured for what seemed like forever. He felt the blood trickle down his palm and onto his fingers, sliding in and out, gracefully over the contours of his hand. James heard the first droplet hit the floor in an ear-shattering splash. His house had been silent for hours. James' heartbeat slowed in his chest and his eyes closed slowly. The darkness oversaw. It became a blanket for the once miraculous teen. James let go of his consciousness and let himself fall into the deep unknown.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these yea__rs_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

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**A/N:** REVIEW MY PEOPLES!!! I was thinking of a third songfic! This time from Cindy's POV!!! Whadda ya thoink? Tell me that and what you think of this one! 

iloveslinky


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